Warrior's part 9

Things are going crazy again, because I'm on the very last chapter.

There's a lot of different names and character's to keep track of and I just can't put it all together to explain very well.

But basically there's been more fighting, more conspiracy, more death, it's really draining, it's one bad thing after another for these cats.

What I really want to reflect on the most after reading this book, is all the pictures I made in my head.

How I imagined every single event that took place.

How I imagined the environment and,  all the cat's, and all the events that took place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear reading fantasy novels without pictures in my head.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define having pictures play out in mh head while I read as bad.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being able to direct myself to stop creating pictures in my head if I ever realized in self honesty the importance to do so for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad that I won't have my friends as the cat's I've imagined in my head while reading.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine I have friends in my head.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self honest and truthful within myself when facing the reality of what I define as friendship and what my real friendship embodies, and why I'd rather imagine having cat friends in my head.

These keystones of facing imagination are the point of this blog, so that's why it's more important to face my relationship to imagination than it is to go into depth story wise in what happened within this book.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself creating imagination relationship's of friendship within me, as I give myself the opprituinuty to cut through my imagination and see what these friendships really represent for me.

Warrior's part 8

Another cat in the clan died.

It seems like Tigerclaw did it to further incriminate Ravenpaw.

Things are just crazy at ThunderClan.

This over bearing sense of dread, and everything falling apart around ThunderClan, I relate to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear everything around me being out to 'get me'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of people being out to destroy me, even if it were true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own paranoia.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear people breaking my trust in them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my trust outside of myself where my trust is conditional and not real as self trust in relationship to other's.

TigerClaw betrayed the clan, becuase they placed their faith and trust in him, and not themselves.

I commit myself to stop, breathe, when and as I see myself placing my faith and trust in other's, as I in this moment of stopping realize that what I'm placing in other's hands is what I'm not giving to my self as self responsability.